Words that Should Be in the Dictionary, but Aren't - Vol. 3

I'm ripping off Rich Hall again. But he's too busy bagging your drive-thru order to care. Here's another entry in the world of homemade Sniglets.

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Ahhhch-ewww (AH-choo) - n. When a person sneezes and farts simultaneously.

Baconfusion (BAY cahn fyoo shun) - n. A nationwide fear of center cut pork chops and sharing public airspace, caused by irresponsible media coverage.

Braddicts (BRAH-dicks) - n. People who visit this blog daily in hopes of finally reading a fake interview with an unemployed actress from "Saved by the Bell."

Combilaps (kom' bih lahps) - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes on a padlock before finally getting your locker open, right before you get your ass kicked for lunch money.

Decafalon (DEE caff uh lahn) - n. The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. Typically lasts 24 hours.

Elephanticide (ehl EH fant ih syde) - n. The act of uselessly voting for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election.

Findex (FIN dex) - n. The portion of window cleaner that the spray tube can no longer reach.

Gazinta (gah ZIN tuh) - n. The mathematical symbol used when doing long division verbally.

Giraffiti (juh RAFF ee tee) - n. Words and pictures that teenagers somehow spray paint on seemingly inaccessible locations, such as water towers, busy highway overpasses and a launched Korean missile.

Ignoranus (igg nohr AYN uss) - n. Someone who is both mentally deficient, and an asshole.

Profontity (pro FAHN uh tee) - n. A typeface used by cartoonists that allows Marmaduke's owners to express frustration in a family-friendly way.

Reintardnation (ree UN tarhrd nay shun) - n. Coming back to life as a resident of New Jersey.

Quadriknockas (KWAD ruh boo bij) - n. A common occurrence in women who wear bras that do not fit properly.

Your contributions are appreciated...