The Group Rate Single Finger Salute(s)...
Sadly, other than when I'm discussing bad reality TV stars, this is when I'm at my best. So here's the latest list of seven people that need to purposely swallow their tongues:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time
Oh, is that where people keep it? I think I'll start pointing at my crotch, while jumping in place when I ask the location of a nearby men's room.
2. People in the check out line who wait until their entire bill is rung up before writing out the check
Do you know of a sudden store name change that's going down in the next ten seconds? Did you plan on waiting till the next day? Are you testing out a new signature? As my buddy Jim Norton would say, "eat a bullet."
3. People who are willing to spend ten minutes crawling around like a baboon in heat, just to find the remote, rather than walking to the TV and changing it manually
This is why you're fat.
4. People who say,"You just want to have your cake and eat it, too."
Cake is pretty useless if you don't eat it. Unless you're a clown or a pervert.
5. People who say, "It's always the last place you look."
Really, Columbo? I didn't plan on looking for it after I found it. Which, by default, makes it the last place I look. Let me know how your approach works.
6. People who say, while at the movies, "Did you see that?"
Nope. I was checking the background lighting and wondering if I could figure out who the gaffer is. This oddball, OCD-driven curiosity of mine forced me to completely miss that 59 ft. explosion that rattled my bowels into early submission. Thank jeebus you're here.
7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya chief?
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10 comments:
Darn it, and here I thought it was just cause I'm too stupid to figure out how to turn the TV on without the remote! ;)
You got my picture! HAHA!
can i ask you a question, prof? did you just see that? :)
love the single finger salutes.
People who ask "Can you spell that?" when you give them your name. Of course I can spell it - it's my *@@##** name!
I always heard it "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask."
idontknowwhy?
8:03 - I understand your annoyance, but as someone who regularly takes messages for a living, its just as annoying to take a message from someone named Gheisitl Brociksigvi and they can't believe you don't know how to spell that offhand.
The people listed in #2 are the ones I want to punch in the throat.
I hate it when people say, "taste this, it's terrible" or "this smells awful, here smell it"
And always a favorite, "you look so tired". Why not just tell me I look terrible. It's the same thing.
every single one of these! and oh and the person who asks "can I sit here?" as they point to the empty bus seat next to someone. just sit down. why are you asking. I don't know if you can. try it and see what happens.
I'm cracking up at these pictures.
Thanks for the laugh.
I want a Flash Picture too!
My last name is 4 letters.
It sounds like it is spelled and it's spelled like it sounds.
THEY ALWAYS ASK ME TO SPELL IT!
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