For those of you who don't know me so well, I kinda run this weekly Friday game on Facebook. It's nothing more than a "Top Ten" for the masses, but it's harmless fun and usually provokes some interesting side conversations.
(Oh -- by the way -- if you haven't already, we should totally connect on Facebook, homeslices. Email me for contact info so I don't post my vitals on here like a spam magnet.)
Anyway, today's Friday game brought about an old classic -- guilty pleasure songs. Within minutes of me changing my status update, I was flooded with throwbacks so guilty, they should be hidden in the basement next to old holiday decorations and that teenage runaway you found upstate last summer.
I'll shut up now, but for fun, here's my list, complete with explanations. Your comments are encouraged...
1) Phil Collins -- "Groovy Kind of Love" -- I was in the 6th grade, and falling madly in love with the girl who gave me my first real kiss, Cheryl K. No other song of the time captured the sheer heart-wrenching emotion that the former Genesis drummer evoked with this ballad.
2) Kajagoogoo -- "Too Shy" -- Show me a person who claims they've never sung this song to themselves, and I'll show you a liar.
3) Van Morrison -- "Brown Eyed Girl" -- One of the greatest Irish folk rockers of the modern day, and the only song he'll ever be known for is this trite piece of crap...but just TRY and stop humming it.
4) Queensryche -- "Silent Lucidity" -- The greatest Pink Floyd song that Pink Floyd never wrote.
5) RUN DMC -- "My Adidas" -- During a 'make or break' time for the development of rap music, the Kings of Queens wrote a song about their gym shoes. Brilliant (sarcasm is "on") business move that nearly spelled the end of the band.
6) The DiVinyls -- "I Touch Myself" -- One of three classic strip club anthems on this list that
remains burnt into my subconscious to this day.
7) Napalm Death -- "Twist the Knife Slowly" -- There is nothing better than a Napalm Death show...It usually goes like this: "GROWL-BLURGH-GROWLGROWL-BLURGH!!!!!!! (Chorus:) BLUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!...Thank you all....for our next song, we'd like to play......."
8) The WWF "Degeneration X" Theme Music -- No better music on earth for working out, getting ready for a fight, or having back alley hooker sex....with the sole exception of....
9) The "Rocky" Theme Music -- DUN-dun-dun-dun-dundun-DUN-
10) Motley Crue -- "Girls, Girls, Girls" -- Strip club anthem #2, and arguably the most testosterone driven piece of hair metal every to come down the Sunset Strip...In junior high school, more of my friends lost their virginity to this song than any other....Me? I was a big mush in the junior high bedroom (see song #1)
11) Joe "Bean" Esposito -- "You're the Best" (Montage music from the tournament scene in 'The Karate Kid') -- If I even have to explain this, then you're not worthy of seeing the rest of my list...(An honorable mention goes to Survivor, who, besides their obvious "Rocky" success, made the music for the end credits of both KK1 and KK2...Is there any band better at capturing the "underdog saves the day" moment better than Survivor? Me thinks not....)
12) Ministry -- "Jesus Built My Hotrod" -- For years, it was just fun to request this song based on its title alone. Ministry was a great band....this wasn't one of the reasons why.
13) Johnny Cash -- "Ring of Fire" -- A song that hacks like me can sing with ease, and still maintain a sense of cool. Back in the day, this must have sounded completely badass. Today? With a title like that, I'm just surprised the song hasn't been used in a Preparation H commercial.
14) GWAR -- "Phallus in Wonderland" -- Heavy metal + Costumed musicians + Sexual lyrics + Fairy tale about childhood hallucinogen abuse = Great song.
15) AC/DC -- "Big Balls" -- Duh
16) Cycle Sluts from Hell -- "I Wish You Were a Beer" -- Double duh
17) Drivin' and Cryin' -- "Fly Me Courageous" -- Pretending I liked this steaming pile of fertilizer got me lucky with this one girl in Maryland....a LOT...Memories...sweet memories...
18) RATT -- "Body Talk" -- As seen in the "breaking into the bikers' suburban split-level colonial lair" scene from the Eddie Murphy classic "The Golden Child". To this day, I don't know why they never toured with Poison, just to advertise the "Ratt/Poison" tour shirts. Come to think of it, Poison definitely should have toured with The Cure for similar reasons....but I digress...
19) New Kids on the Block -- "Funky Funky Christmas" -- I can just see your faces now...but it's true...I love Christmas, and it's all about bad, cheesy music...so--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
20) Mr. Big -- "To Be With You" -- I kid you not, the first time I heard this song, I could swear he was singing "I'm the one who wants to be-e-e-e a Jew"...I thought the band partied all over the Gaza Strip.
21) Denis Leary -- "I'm an Asshole" -- I just like to chant "A-S-S-H-O-L-E" to a lively beat whenever possible...
22) Men Without Hats -- "The Safety Dance" -- Why? It's simple, really...because if you don't dance, and if you don't dance, then you're [musical pause] no friend of mine.....
23) Eminem -- "My Name Is..." -- I love rap songs where the rapper insists on telling you his name 39 times over the course of a 3 minute song. It's like a musical Ritalin commercial -- the ultimate display of short-term ADD. Guys like this are very similar to the jokers from the original 1-800-DENTIST commercials that hear the announcer say, "1-800-DENTIST" , then proceed to look it up in a conveniently placed Rolodex.
24) The Ramones -- "Beat on The Brat" -- Simply because of the frustrations stemming from my new job, and also because I get distinct pleasure from beating small children with sports equipment.
25) Cinderella -- "Nobody's Fool" -- The ULTIMATE bad ballad of 80's metal...and the only one that still sounds good today...I love this f--ing song, and I don't care WHO hears about it!!!!!!! (I'd still appreciate if you kept the New Kids selection to yourselves, though)
Your thoughts are welcome...
7 comments:
I've gotta join in on this one!!
Ok, my top 25 (in no particular order!)
1) Radiohead: Creep. It just defines me. 'Nuff said.
2) Blue Oyster Cult: Don't Fear the Reaper. I just loved a song about death, and how creepy the song made me feel all over after it was done. I'm a dirty, dirty boy!
3) Bloodhound Gang: A Lapdance is so much Better when the Stripper is Crying. The title says it all.
4) Dropkick Murphys: Kiss me, I'm Shitfaced. Another song with the explanation right in the title of the song! Great tune to break out with in crowded bars.
5) The Strokes: Reptilia. Driving beat, and semi-pronounced words. A must-have for all alternative wannabes!
6) Red-Hot Chili Peppers: Sir Psycho Sexy. Sexual entendre, taunting lyrics, and all-out S&M in a funky tune. What's not to love?
7) Jim's Big Ego: Stress. Another tune with the definition right in the title. Maybe I'm just redundant?
8) Stone Temple Pilots: Interstate Love Song. Short, sweet song with a really good beat.
9) Soundgarden: Black Hole Sun. The defining sound of a band before their time. Sad that they're not able to make more great tunes like this anymore..
10) Puddle of Mudd: She Hates Me. Great song, adds just enough flair to keep them from being complete sell-outs when they went commercial with their music.
11) Lionel Ritchie: Hello. Yes, my one true geeky side comes out. I loved this song, and would request it at each senior high dance I went to, if only to get one cute girl to dance for about 5 minutes with me!
12) Looking Glass: Brandy. Ah yes, the throwback to my days of listening to my aunts and their rock n roll radio. Gotta love those times.
13) Jimmy Buffet: Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw? Another great song with the explanation in the title. Why ask for more?
14) The Beatles: Obi-ladi, Obi-lada. Catchy tune that really doesn't mean much, but it's fun to listen to and sing along with.
15) Billy Joel: You May be Right. Heck, for a borderline maniac begging for an excuse to go postal on folks, this is a song I can REALLY relate to.
16) Flogging Molly: Flirting With Disaster. Great tune. Nothing more needs to be said.
17) Scorpions: Rock You Like a Hurricane. Classic rock anthem of the late 80's. A must-have for any true hair-band afficionado.
18) Alice In Chains: Rooster. Post war syndrome explained in song. What more needs to be said?
19) Metallica: One. The godsend of heavy metal put down in guitar and drums. Bow and worship with me.
20) Faith No More: Epic. This song actually made me think that I could one day make it big as a rock singer. I mean, you don't have to look pretty, and you don't really have to sing well... What happened?
21) The Cars: Drive. Yup, flashback to senior prom, and me taking THREE girls to prom and not just one. (I was being charitable!) It was a great feeling to get group hugged and thanked over and over again by these girls to this song!
22) Incubus: Drive. This was the first time I'd heard Incubus, and since then I just can't seem to get enough of their sound. Great classic tune.
23) The Toadies: Possum Kingdom. I love this song. So help me Jesus.
24) Adam Sandler: At a Medium Pace. Being the Karaoke Jockey that I was, I heard this song TOO many times, but it was requested so much that I just can't get it out of my head anymore. You're welcome.
25) Semisonic: Closing Time. Not really a great tune, but as above, it was the one song I looked forward to singing at the end of the night. It meant that I could go home, and try to brillo the insides of my ears to get ready for the next night.
There's my list. Hope you enjoy it Brad!
Some good forgotten things on that list! Fly me courageous was an awesome song! Nobodys fool. I touch myself. (Sometimes! haha!)
i'm with you on some of these. although "i touch myself" brings back some bad zeta memories from when we serenaded delta chi to that song... what the hell were we thinking???
i've already confessed to my K7 CD, which i dusted off on friday and spent my lunch hour driving around town, singing to "come baby come" at the top of my lungs. the abuse would just get worse from there, so i'm keeping the rest to myself...
i left you a little something over at my blog...
Au contraire, my friend - #18 - Ratt and Poison did tour together....and I saw it, guess you just found out my guilty pleasure.....
The only one of yours I could totally identify with was Brown Eyed Girl because, well, I am your brown eyed girl. Always takes me back to CBHS prom 1988.
haha.. i love your list..
jesus built my hotrod:worst ministry song ever!
india and i went and saw cinderella at the roxy in l.a. & they rocked. :) happy turkey day!
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